Advancing Editions – Dr. System Shock, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Save-or-Die

While “save-or-die” isn’t really what we’re talking about here, it sure makes for a catchy buzzword. But instead of that, we’ll be looking more generally at the evolution of the saving throw in general – from its humble and confusing beginnings to the modern day.

Also get the d20’s ready. When I say the old system is confusing, I mean like in the confusion spell. Hope you’ve got a good Wisdom save bonus.

Just as a note, it may take a year but by god do I follow up on my stupid title jokes.

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Unrelated: Halloween, Trick-or-Treating, and d4’s

Happy Halloween! Now is the time for costumes, scares, and candy.

I am now a grown adult, and thus no longer trick-or-treat. However, because I am a grown adult I can now simply buy as much candy as I want. There are also very few people who can tell me not to do this.

This has ended up being much more of a problem than I thought it would be when I was 12.

 

Anyway, I’ve come up with a novel idea for limiting candy intake which I call “tabletop trick-or-treating.” Essentially it uses D&D to replace the door-to-door candy gathering I once did as a child (and wouldn’t be able to do now even if I was still a child because of a literal plague).

It seems pretty simple, so… here we go!

 

Firstly, try to remember around how many houses you would normally visit while trick-or-treating as a child. Failing that, make up a number and just make-believe that it has any actual statistical value.

Next, roughly estimate how generous your childhood neighbors were using the following table. Assume here that none of them were generous enough to give out full-size candy bars because A) they weren’t, and B) you are physically incapable of eating that amount of raw sugar at this age.

Generosity Die Size
Stingy Rather than use a set die size, roll the largest die closest to your total number of houses visited and add a modifier to make up the rest; IE for a 42-house gauntlet, roll 2d20 + 2.
PTA “Trunk-or-Treat” 1d6 per “house” but at least half the result must be granola bars or fruit
Fairly Generous 1d4 – 1 per house (minimum one)
Very Kind 1d4 per house
Enthusiastic 1d4 + 1 per house
“Hey Kiddo, Let’s Put Some of These Away, Alright?” 2d4 per house
Dentist Neighborhood 2d6 per house but you have to tape a dentist’s business card to each candy

Finally, roll as directed on the table. Buy your Halloween candy (and a six-foot long pole to hang the candy bowl off of) and pick out a number of pieces equal to the rolled number. Eat them and then don’t get any more. Just don’t.

Once Halloween is over, take the candy out back and burn it to appease the trick-or-treat gods and to prevent you from eating more so it “won’t go to waste.”

 

And there you have it! The brand new, never-before-seen Dungeons and Dragons solution to over-consumption of candy during the Halloween season. I’ll be trying it myself this year even though I know I’ll abandon it as soon as I run out of candy. But if you try it and have more self-control than me (imagine a really impulsive third grader), let me know how it goes!

The Psionic Panic

Psionics is interesting, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve ever seen something else so divisive in Dungeons and Dragons. I mean sure, people can argue about racial traits and ranger reworks, but psionics is where the arguments get real. Since the upcoming Tasha’s Guide to Everything looks to have multiple of those topics it should make the D&D social network quite… interesting.

Anyway it’s been a while since the last time I ended up out of my depth, so here we are!

Let’s talk psionics. Just don’t go mental on me, alright?

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School of Arcana Wizard – The Know-It-All Mage! (v3)

Magic is a tool like any other. It exists to be learned and mastered by those with the dedication, patience, and aptitude to do so. Many wizards embrace the diversity of magic and hone their skills in a favored school or technique.

But to the mage, a student of the School of Arcana, all magic is fair game. After all, why play favorites? No one school is better than another, but combined the possibilities are limitless.

Come learn the basics below, with the School of Arcana wizard!

Wizard-SchoolArcana-v3

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Forgotten God Warlock – There’s No Point Believing in Things that Exist (v2)

To a god, belief is an acceptance of their philosophy and ideas, and also a confidence the god will still be there tomorrow. This faith is self-fulfilling; so long as you believe, the god will be. If you forget, then it won’t.

To a forgotten god, belief is something much different. It is the futile, desperate hope that things will change. Bereft of evidence or proof, belief is all that is left. To a forgotten god, belief is the hope that you will bring it back to life.

Remember more below, with the Forgotten God warlock!

Warlock-ForgottenGod-v2

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Late Review – The Complete Thief’s Handbook (2e)

Welcome to a brand new series of exceedingly late reviews for Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition sourcebooks! I mean, it’s only 31 years late, right?

First up we have The Complete Thief’s Handbook, a good ol’ guide to our favorite class, the thief rogue!

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Path of Inks Barbarian – Next Up: Tattoo Artist Artificer! (v1)

I’m just joking about the artificer subclass… for now, at least.

So, you know how powerful wizards can scribble on paper and make it do crazy stuff? Alright, and bear with me here… what if we did that to your skin? Wouldn’t that be rad or what?

Have I ever done this before? Nah, but don’t worry about it. How hard can a tattoo really be?

Click here to follow through with the Path of Inks barbarian!

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Common Knowledge – The Facts of Unlife!

Oh no, it’s a skeleton! What do you do?

Well, if its just a skeleton then Turn Undead should be fine. But it could also be a particularly decayed lich, so that’d be bad news and you should run. Is it solid? It could be some sort of skeletal specter or something. And hey, does anyone actually know what mummies look like under all those bandages?

It could be anything! But no worries, it just killed you. Looks like it was a lich after all. Now are you going to come back as a zombie, or would it be more of a ghoul or ghast situation…?

Click through below to learn all about the common knowledge of undead!

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Horrid Coven Warlock – Wicked Witches and Haggard Hags (v2)

Downsides to serving a coven of powerful hags:
1. Three shrill whispering voices in your mind, all disagreeing with each other.
2. Dream sequence visions from your Patrons play out like jump scares.

Upsides to serving a coven of powerful hags:
1. Free grandma candy!

Click through to find out more about the Horrid Coven warlock! Its not as bad as it sounds, I swear!

Warlock-HorridCoven-v2

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