Now that’s a lot of damage!
We are currently hiring dedicated Planar Relations agents to join our up-and-coming interplanar agency! If you have a love for marketing, an acceptance of potentially deceitful methods, and a lack of distaste for working with eldritch abominations, then you’d make a perfect addition to our team.
Click below to apply for the Planar Relations Warlock position!
-Warlock- Planar Relations Agency v1
Or check out the PDF here!
At Planar Relations, we believe everyone deserves a shot at public acceptance and profit… even unknowable entities from beyond rational space! Join our agency for the latest in magical marketing techniques and corporate benefits. The only requirement is a desire to learn and grow (preferably all the way to 20th level)!
- As a 1st level new hire, you’ll be assigned to one of our many otherworldly clients! Even as a contractor, you’ll still have access to all the expanded spells available to normal employees!
- Additionally, you’ll be able to hone your Charismatic skillset and learn the basics of in-combat ad(vantage) placement! Attack ads targeting your enemies are also available, just make sure they don’t figure out how to skip the ad!
- Once you reach 6th level, you can expect promotion to an associate position. As an associate, you’ll learn more about long-form ad(vantage) creation and be expected to lead spell choice based market research!
- At 10th level, you’ll join our exclusive team of “market leaders” specializing in foiling attempts to block or skip our valuable ad(vantage) placements!
- Finally, those talented enough to reach 14th level can expect a promotion to executive analyst, expected to create new marketing campaigns based on the needs of your party! Need a bit more of a Wisdom failsafe, or would it be better to boost those damage numbers? You decide!
- And, of course, we offer many competitive invocation bonuses for all your eldritch needs! From brand-affiliated equipment to state-of-the artifice marketing tools, we have it all!
Legal and Mechanical Notices
- Ever wanted to play a social media influencer in D&D? Of course you have! And now, with the Planar Relations Warlock, you can!
- Alternate names for this subclass include “hype warlock” and “pop-up ad caster” – but social media influencer is my favorite.
- The core concept here is advantage (and disadvantage). Run intrusive advertisements to frustratingly help your allies or help frustrate your enemies! This is a very support-oriented subclass, but I think the warlock class works well for it.
- What is a Planar Relations Agency, you ask? Whatever you want it to be! Maybe a bunch of rogue modrons from Mechanus using their bureaucratic skills for whoever bids the highest. Or perhaps it’s a more fiendish affair, helping even the vilest interplanar villains and the evilest gods polish themselves up as saints in the public eye.
- Most important, however, is to have fun! Don’t make a fool of yourself and take this too seriously. Though if you do want a seriously silly class option, check out the Path of the Penguin barbarian – a surprisingly well-received joke, even to this day!
- Join us next time for the companion subclass to this warlock as well – the Oath of Ad-Blocking paladin!
And, as always, let me know what you think!